Saturday, 4 April 2009

Why Manchester United?

Like it or not, you have surely asked yourself this question some time or the other. I would like to make my stance on this. I find this an extremely daunting task, as I find the weight of a billion odd United supporters on my shoulders; I need to do justice to each one of them – to their love and devotion. Most importantly, I need to do justice to my own love – if I define it, the definition must be perfect.

I support Manchester United. No wait, I LOVE Manchester United; And it is not for not for sale. Over the course of the next 500 words or so, I will try and convince you why. Just for the record, it is extremely difficult to define just why you love what you love, it will be a shame if you have to justify to yourself someday why exactly you love your mother or girlfriend.

First, let me introduce you to my idea of love. According to me, beauty = love = pain = pleasure. What you find beautiful you love and vice versa. Love burns a hole in your heart, it gives you pain, it makes you feel alive and human. It is the purest orgasmic feeling one can have. There is a joy of giving in love, that lust would never be able to gratify (by lust, I mean any sort of expectation attached to an object or being). Love is NOT a deal, it is unconditional, hence it is generally one sided. Can you ever love your mother as much as she loves you? Very importantly, love is one and one only; differentiating between different forms of love is plain immaturity. I love my mother just as equally as I love my brother, my best friend, my laptop and Manchester United.

A popular misconception among people is that all people support United just because they have popular (flamboyant) players, an attractive gameplay, a horde of budding talent, a glorious history, a great manager, a rich owner and powerful sponsors, as also the fact they have a brilliant record lately, and are winning most trophies. Well, as you know, all of that is true. And I agree a big number of our supporters are wannabes or bandwagon joiners. Nevertheless, I know people who love United for United, and nothing else. They (we) couldn’t care less if we (United) got relegated next season, or sold Cristiano Ronaldo to Man City, or went bankrupt. We don’t even care if United en-cashes, shuts up shop, and ceases to be a football club altogether. We just love United, and we give it everything we can – our support, our prayers, our energy, and even our bodies (United jersey sales are second to none).

United’s victory is our victory; United’s defeat is our defeat. We mourn in togetherness (or solitude) when Rooney gets injured, and revel in the glory of his timely goal. What do we get out of it...? What do we get out of sex? What do we get out of a relationship? What do we get out of buying our dream car or getting a promotion? Isn’t happiness what we are all after, blissful overwhelming absolute joy? Well, that is what supporting United gives us. All us (real) supporters across the globe - we have never met each other, but we feel the same feeling, our hearts are in perfect sync; we rejoice in unison, we bleed in unison; the same red blood flows
through each one of us.

That is why you shortsighted “anti-Manu” supporters always get your ass kicked by us, and always will.


Ojas Mehta

Author & Editor

Has laoreet percipitur ad. Vide interesset in mei, no his legimus verterem. Et nostrum imperdiet appellantur usu, mnesarchum referrentur id vim.


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